The clock begins to race

A few days after I unchained myself from corporate slavery, I began to experience some side effects:

-More exposure to sunlight

-Becoming less sedentary by not working at my desk 8 hours a day. More yoga, walking and running.

-Less spikes in blood pressure: At work, my blood pressure would go from normal to near-hypertension in one afternoon. This is in spite of eating a healthy diet and maintaining a active lifestyle.

-More (than usual) awareness on how to spend money.

I struggle with this last one because my intention was to be a frugal as possible while learning new skills to help me join the work force again in the near future. But that hasn’t happened yet.

Cutie and I decided to take a trip (or two) before settling into our new life. But its not just “a trip”. It’s more like a trip abroad. A trip to a country where I do not know the language.

(PAUSE). Ok. I am now calm again.

Friends and family who have been informed of such plans were exited and envious of such an opportunity, but they only know the half of it.

I will be volunteering to help out in an archeological dig while Cutie expands his knowledge digging, labeling, etc.

So…this is why I am trying my best to learn some modern Greek before the trip to Greece. The progress is slow. Hell I wish I would have done this as a kid than as an adult.
But this will all be worth it (I hope) so that I can survive there and avoid a lot of embarrassing situations like accidentally going into the men’s bathroom or buying the wrong thing at a store.The accidental shopping situation is what I want to avoid at all costs since I am trying to save money while on this dig. (OK. I admit this is an oxymoron).

But I will do this while I still physically can (still walk, climb, run, etc) instead of waiting for retirement age with 10 conditions what would limit my mobility/energy levels.

You’ve got to admit it would be hard as hell to get around in a place like this with mobility problems!

 

 

Unchained from corporate slavery

 

My current situation was summed up in this image:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After carefully analyzing my current situation (and weighing the pros and cons), I’ve decided to take a risk and  leave. I turned in my 2 weeks notice and  did not receive any resistance from my supervisor or upper management. No one asked me to not to leave. The question that kept popping up was for my reason for leaving was whether due to something they’ve done. (Like I am dumb enough to tell them how much I dislike their BS plans for the rest of us hard-working peons).  Before going to the HR office for the last time, I had both of my middle fingers ready for use in case I was going to be pelted with probing questions.

After turning in my badge, I was asked one question: Why are you leaving?

My answer : Other reasons.

I left it at that and so did HR.

During those last two weeks, not a single manager or supervisor made any efforts to try to retain me as an employee. In fact, they were very nice to me after knowing I was going to quit.

 

For my coworkers, a lot of them were sad and upset. They deserved my respect more than the nicest boss there.

My coworkers gave a damn about my  leaving. We were all in the same boat, trying to keep the ship from sinking while the high-ranking officers and the captain were enjoying fine-dinning and better sleeping quarters in the upper decks.

I felt sad for my coworkers because of their financial obligations in their lives, they can’t afford to just quit when things go to hell at work. A  lot of them take anti-anxiety medications while at their desks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am glad and lucky that I was able to leave a place that was not helping me develop professionally. The company was willing to help as long as I switched personalities and truly believed in its culture without question or reason.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When there is no loyalty shown, loyalty should not be expected.

 

 

Grounding for the fix

So after celebrating my friend’s b-day last night, I woke up
super-drowsy. I had to get up early to stop by the doctor’s office then go to work for a meeting. I also neglected to drink some coffee before leaving.

By the time I got to the doctors office building, my alertness was waning.  Desperate for a caffeine fix, I entered a grocery store in search of coffee to drink. I considered buying an energy drink, but nixed the idea after remembering getting heart palpitations from it. I also did not felt like buying a cold bottled-up version of Starbucks for $8.

So, in a daze, I went to the regular coffee isle and bought a small box of single-serve instant coffee packets for a $1. Since I did not have access to hot or cold water, I started to tear open a packet and eat the grounds.

The taste itself was enough to jolt the dead back to life. I tried to hold the ground crystals between my teeth to numb the horrible taste a bit. I felt like sucking on ashes than anything else.

The caffeine was sort-of kicking in, so I got another mouthful…

And regretted it even more. My mouth felt like death itself had defecated in it after a night of bad Mexican food.

By this time I was wide awake and cursing myself for trying such a crazy idea. But I saved $ 7 from that same idea. When I got to my desk, I regretted it even more: the meeting got cancelled.

Why didn’t I just sleep in?!

Rebooting.

So after so many life changes going on, I’ve decided to just take some time off from the frustrating grind of work.  And since I used to care about small things like “bad timing” because of X,Y or Z going on at work, I chose when to take the vacation without giving a damn. My supervisor did not reject my request and hence I disconnected from the workplace for several days (and still counting).

Since I am a workaholic, I didn’t sit around do nothing. Those days are over for me. I wanted my vacation to be as bullshit free as possible (without mentally vegging out).

-I continued going to chess lessons and practicing chess tactics. Sometimes my brain explodes, but not in the same way as it does at work.

-I also started playing D&D with my friends. We only meet once a week for the game.

-I went to this beautiful place called the National Buffalo River with Cutie. We camped at the point for a few days and hiked a few miles.  The place is worth all of the tax dollars used to keep this place running as smoothly as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-I also helped do paperwork (Cutie & mine’s) related to the huge life changes (will be revealed in later posts).

-Started running again after finally recovering from my allergies.

Yes I am keeping myself busy because I HAVE to. Every time I see an obese local at work or at a public place, the sight makes me want to keep physically moving as often as possible.

Yep. Not giving a damn is becoming more liberating by the minute.

A cheap high

The high is not new. But the fact that it lasts longer than a cigarette break or a few drinks is pretty awesome.

Not even the sun pisses me off today!

I got rid of A LOT of stuff I did not need today. Donated it to charity.  I have less stuff to:

- Keep track of

- Insure (if you have home owner’s or renter’s insurance)

- Stuff to pack when moving (saves money on renting a truck plus gas)

- Clean

- Keep pets away from to reduce damage

When I first got renter’s insurance, I got so paranoid about whether my basic coverage was enough that I started a long list of items both Cutie and I had. I also took pictures of the stuff in case our stuff got destroyed in a fire at our building.

UGH!!!

I got overwhelmed at how much stuff we had in a one-bedroom apartment. I couldn’t complete the list or keep updating it with changes on it whenever we received presents from friends and family.

That pretty much killed the last of my desire for shopping for stuff.  Which also means I have a fuller wallet each month.

If that isn’t enough to get on the stuff purging bandwagon, try watching an episode of  Hoarders:

I would set this place on fire before trying to clean anything up!

Super-sick, but super-proud

So spring has finally arrived (the evidence is the HUGE amount of pollen in the air). And since I was not fortunate enough to be exposed to ragweed at an early age, I find myself popping Benadryl pills like Skiddles Candies.

I skipped work today due to the pounding my chest took from walking outdoors. But while I was stuck indoors, I’ve manage to practice my chess tactics on a few games.

I lost badly, but I won one game in a good checkmate (playing as black):

1.e4 e5 2.Bc4 Bc5 3.Nf3 Nc6 4.d4 d5 5.Be3 Nf6 6.Nc3 O-O 7.dxc5 Bg4 8.h3 d4 9.Nxd4 exd4 10.Bxd4 Nxd4 11.Qxd4 Qxd4 12.hxg4 Rad8 13.e5 Nxg4 14.f3 Qe3+ 15.Kf1 Qf2# 0-1

I am proud because there is hope that if I keep practicing, I may stave off Alzheimer’s disease that is affecting my grandmother. I really don’t want to be a burden to my family members when I get too old to handle my own affairs.  Maybe its a long shot because there isn’t a way to truly prevent it, but there is hope that modern medicine will find a way. In the mean time, I will keep playing.

 

Following my own advice

   Not too long ago, I spoke to one of my old female college friends regarding the topic of risk taking versus worrying about keeping up appearances in order to get what you want/need in life. Although the source of the conversation with her was about the dating scene, I gave her advice that not only applies to dating, but to life in general:

  Sometimes you need to act like a man in order to survive as a woman

   This is the dirty secret I learned while living and working in the best country in the world (in my opinion). I have seen how women act a lot like men in many ways:

-Not taking no for an answer.

-Being persistent at chasing opportunities 

-Taking risks and not caring about the consequences that much.

-Being selfish when it comes to getting the pay that you want.

I have seen MANY male coworkers joke around and barely get any work done, yet they get promoted. Not only do they do that, but their mannerisms are just arrogant:

     This is NOT Bilbo’s Riddle!

I could go on and on about how far the feminist movement has gone and what it lacks, but who wants to wait until the laws and westernized culture finally catch up to women’s needs?

To hell with that. I’d rather live in my own movement and just follow my own advice as much as I can (and save a crap load of money from not taking a Gender Studies course).

I am moving my ass far away from everything and starting over. Not in spite but with open eyes and with a bolder mind.

What do you think? Are you currently living in your own movement? Or starting one?

 

 

The beginining of change and the cracks from it

   So, after receiving good news and enjoying from the news, reality kicked in like a bad hangover from drinking half a gallon of vodka in hot, humid weather.

I look at my life in the present and see it that indeed it needs a big change:

A change in occupation- My job makes a selfish, empty shell out of me. I come home angry and drained, baffled at how anyone actually likes going through the same crap day in and day out for the next 20 years.

A change in attitude- Need to be braver than ever to try new things and to do the things I hate more often in order to accomplish the missions acquired.

A change in appearance- I am downright frumpy because of my frugal lifestyle. But now I can’t stand looking at myself in pictures because I now look downright abandoned.

Looking forward to sealing those cracks with super glue.

 

 

It can be worse

That small bit of positive thinking is the old remedy of reminding ourselves why if we find ourselves in a bad situation, it isn’t as bad as it seems. Or the words of wisdom that my mom would tell me: “God tightens His grip but does not asphyxiate”.  None of these help me because there is no point on dwelling on the thousands of ways how things can be worse than they are.

This is when I go and watch the one thing that would help me view the world in a better light:

The Trailer Park Boys. It’s a fictional comedy show filmed in Canada and it just helps me calm down about those awful moments in life.

Why does this show help? Well for one thing:

-The three main characters (Julian, Ricky and Bubbles) characters try all kinds of things to not become wage-slaves

-They voice their anger.  And don’t care about who they offend.

-They try their best to help each other out, screw up and are still friends.

-They get in trouble, go to jail, get in trouble again and well, they still have hope in reaching their goals.

I recomend this show to anyone. It’s worth watching when everything else fails.

Clear blue skies

I am finding myself daydreaming and regularly dreaming of the option of returning to PR with cutie.  From a logical standpoint it does sound ridiculous considering all of the cons of living there:

-Constant basic utility interruptions (water, electricity, internet, phone service, etc).

- High unemployment (people with MBAs still working at fast-food joints).

-High crime rate. Don’t even get me started on the “tecato tax” to pay at a public parking lot!

-High costs on utilities and transportation services.

On the other hand, if such a a thing were to occur, it may not sound so bad.

Why do I feel like this? Well, for one thing, I miss seeing the clear, bright blue skies there:

Some how, there is a healing power emanating from spending a day at a place like Playa Sucia pictured above.  Spending the day outdoors in the winter where everything is asleep (leafless trees, yellowed grass, occasional snow) does not provide the same effect:

Fed up?

Seven years ago I viewed things very differently from how I view things now. I was in my twenties who saw this mystic land land of opportunity as the only way to live a better life. But its not the land that has changed my view:

-Southern office politics are the worst!

-Irresponsible attitudes from my peers and friends on accountability, relationships, etc. (Maybe I am being too harsh on them).

-High taxes on everything and rising costs of living.

I know I should keep in mind that a change in the current lifestyle will have a dramatic effect on our lives because we are used to the nuances of where and how we live at the moment. A move to ANY place will be expensive and would have to justify all of the hard work that would be placed behind such a move. Not to mention that we do have friends and family in this state (from Cutie’s side of the family).

Maybe I am just homesick. Or something more.

I visited my family last Xmas. A lot of them barely remembered me (due to Alzheimer’s). I saw how age was  starting to affect their health and how the opportunities for spending time with them were becoming less and less. I also know for a fact that my brother is not the most responsible person in the world and should anything happen to my aging parents, I would have to be available to help take care of them. I am also concerned about how Cutie would adjust to a completely different and a lot slower lifestyle with not having much to do.  But I am jumping the gun here. I would have to wait and see how other things will roll out.  Regardless of the outcome,  I just want to live life in peace.