My current situation was summed up in this image:
After carefully analyzing my current situation (and weighing the pros and cons), I’ve decided to take a risk and leave. I turned in my 2 weeks notice and did not receive any resistance from my supervisor or upper management. No one asked me to not to leave. The question that kept popping up was for my reason for leaving was whether due to something they’ve done. (Like I am dumb enough to tell them how much I dislike their BS plans for the rest of us hard-working peons). Before going to the HR office for the last time, I had both of my middle fingers ready for use in case I was going to be pelted with probing questions.
After turning in my badge, I was asked one question: Why are you leaving?
My answer : Other reasons.
I left it at that and so did HR.
During those last two weeks, not a single manager or supervisor made any efforts to try to retain me as an employee. In fact, they were very nice to me after knowing I was going to quit.
For my coworkers, a lot of them were sad and upset. They deserved my respect more than the nicest boss there.
My coworkers gave a damn about my leaving. We were all in the same boat, trying to keep the ship from sinking while the high-ranking officers and the captain were enjoying fine-dinning and better sleeping quarters in the upper decks.
I felt sad for my coworkers because of their financial obligations in their lives, they can’t afford to just quit when things go to hell at work. A lot of them take anti-anxiety medications while at their desks.
I am glad and lucky that I was able to leave a place that was not helping me develop professionally. The company was willing to help as long as I switched personalities and truly believed in its culture without question or reason.
When there is no loyalty shown, loyalty should not be expected.
So after celebrating my friend’s b-day last night, I woke up
super-drowsy. I had to get up early to stop by the doctor’s office then go to work for a meeting. I also neglected to drink some coffee before leaving.
By the time I got to the doctors office building, my alertness was waning. Desperate for a caffeine fix, I entered a grocery store in search of coffee to drink. I considered buying an energy drink, but nixed the idea after remembering getting heart palpitations from it. I also did not felt like buying a cold bottled-up version of Starbucks for $8.
So, in a daze, I went to the regular coffee isle and bought a small box of single-serve instant coffee packets for a $1. Since I did not have access to hot or cold water, I started to tear open a packet and eat the grounds.
The taste itself was enough to jolt the dead back to life. I tried to hold the ground crystals between my teeth to numb the horrible taste a bit. I felt like sucking on ashes than anything else.
The caffeine was sort-of kicking in, so I got another mouthful…
And regretted it even more. My mouth felt like death itself had defecated in it after a night of bad Mexican food.
By this time I was wide awake and cursing myself for trying such a crazy idea. But I saved $ 7 from that same idea. When I got to my desk, I regretted it even more: the meeting got cancelled.
Why didn’t I just sleep in?!
So after so many life changes going on, I’ve decided to just take some time off from the frustrating grind of work. And since I used to care about small things like “bad timing” because of X,Y or Z going on at work, I chose when to take the vacation without giving a damn. My supervisor did not reject my request and hence I disconnected from the workplace for several days (and still counting).
Since I am a workaholic, I didn’t sit around do nothing. Those days are over for me. I wanted my vacation to be as bullshit free as possible (without mentally vegging out).
-I continued going to chess lessons and practicing chess tactics. Sometimes my brain explodes, but not in the same way as it does at work.
-I also started playing D&D with my friends. We only meet once a week for the game.
-I went to this beautiful place called the National Buffalo River with Cutie. We camped at the point for a few days and hiked a few miles. The place is worth all of the tax dollars used to keep this place running as smoothly as possible.
-I also helped do paperwork (Cutie & mine’s) related to the huge life changes (will be revealed in later posts).
-Started running again after finally recovering from my allergies.
Yes I am keeping myself busy because I HAVE to. Every time I see an obese local at work or at a public place, the sight makes me want to keep physically moving as often as possible.
Yep. Not giving a damn is becoming more liberating by the minute.
The high is not new. But the fact that it lasts longer than a cigarette break or a few drinks is pretty awesome.
Not even the sun pisses me off today!
I got rid of A LOT of stuff I did not need today. Donated it to charity. I have less stuff to:
– Keep track of
– Insure (if you have home owner’s or renter’s insurance)
– Stuff to pack when moving (saves money on renting a truck plus gas)
– Keep pets away from to reduce damage
When I first got renter’s insurance, I got so paranoid about whether my basic coverage was enough that I started a long list of items both Cutie and I had. I also took pictures of the stuff in case our stuff got destroyed in a fire at our building.
I got overwhelmed at how much stuff we had in a one-bedroom apartment. I couldn’t complete the list or keep updating it with changes on it whenever we received presents from friends and family.
That pretty much killed the last of my desire for shopping for stuff. Which also means I have a fuller wallet each month.
If that isn’t enough to get on the stuff purging bandwagon, try watching an episode of Hoarders:
I would set this place on fire before trying to clean anything up!