After a long hiatus, I have discovered a lot about myself and the plunge into new things:
Taking care of a sick cat.
In a matter of 24 hours, my cat went from energetic to a puking, anti-social mess. After several visits to the Animal ER and her regular veterinarian, I went from bawling/sleepless mess to telling my cat I loved her everyday. None of us know what exactly caused her acute kidney failure but I blame myself for it. It doesn’t make sense that I feel this way about an animal. But after 7 years of companionship, I felt my world crumble as I was trying to come to terms with the shock of what happened to my cat. Luckily, thanks to the doctors, my cat is back to her normal self (pending blood tests). The veterinarian prescribed some special food and will run another blood test to see if my cat’s kidneys are functioning normally. Cutie and I are looking into getting a male kitten to give our mature female cat a play buddy.
I began riding my bike to the university campus during that first week of classes. What I did not realize how hard it is to ride 6 miles (in 90 degree Fahrenheit weather) uphill with a backpack filled with my books and essential cycling items (water, bike pump, patch repair kit, etc). By the time I reach the campus, I become a cranky, haggard, sweaty mess rushing to the nearest air-conditioned building. My energy plummets after the blood pumping into my head slows down. Before I can go to class, I have to drink my French thermos full of espresso and freshen up in the women’s bathroom. By the time I go into the classroom, I made sure to sit as far away from the other students as possible. In the long run, cycling 36 miles per week should provide some long-term health benefits.
Since I haven’t set foot in a classroom for over a decade, that sense of dread of being too slow hasn’t completely left me yet. Every time I enter the classroom, I pray for not making a fool out of myself or for not missing a beat with the lecture. This feeling does not disappear even after I study before entering the classroom (once I am caffeinated!). I guess it’s because I feel so OLD among the freshmen :(. I hope to get over this after taking my first test on this Wednesday.
Still working on my math. It’s overwhelming and I hope to get into the Computer Science program for the Spring Semester. The thought of failing the math placement tests make me more anxious than the fact that I would be in my late 30’s re-entering the work force after graduation.
I think I need more sleep….