Trying to quit coffee: the Eternal Struggle

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After I got sick from eating an Organic Vegetarian TV Dinner, it was decided out of caution to try to quit my consumption of coffee. Since coffee is one of those highly-acidic foods I consumed on a daily basis, it is probably a wise choice for the sake of my stomach.

There is plenty of evidence that there is thing as a physical dependence to Caffeine Dependence. I know so because of my symptoms:

Headaches, low energy and a shorter fuse are among the symptoms I have to cope with. Sometimes when I REALLY get desperate need to concentrate, I drink the paper-filtered ass coffee from the dinning hall to try to wake my mind up.  Every time I passed near a Starbucks, my heart whelped.

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(sobs silently)

This, I fear, will be one of the things I will have to reduce to the point of completely giving up some day due to a health issue/getting older. I’ve had stomach problems since in my early twenties and now they are catching up to me even though I have avoided spicy and fried food.

Green Tea is my Methadone

Instead of having my morning coffee, I am drinking large amounts of Organic Jasmine Green Tea ( regular non-organic Green Tea makes my stomach hurt 😦 ). The tea helps, but the caffeine is so slow-releasing that by the time I am finished with my large mug, I only feel half awake. This effect is worst on days where I go to the gym.

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Waiting for my energy to return….someday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I gave my own eulogy

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I think this is one of the most messed up speeches I had to give (apart from giving corporate speeches at my last job).  Since my Communications Class counted this speech as a test grade, there was no way to get out of this assignment.

Part of my assignment involved critiquing other people’s eulogies. You could tell the eulogies given by my classmates had long laundry lists of accomplishments and dreams (as required). They all shot for the moon and stars in their lives.

I, however, wanted to shoot other people’s pimps as one of my accomplishments.

For a person who suffers from depression, this was a bad idea. It did, however, brought out my creative side:

1- During my lifetime, I beat up a pimp named Fernando and helped his ex-prostitute, Nadia Burns, start a new life. Nadia was the character I had to pretend to be in order to give my own eulogy.

2- I lived my life with a similar eccentricity as Bilbo Baggins.

3- My last request was for my urn to be placed in a liquor cabinet next to a good bottle of sake.  It did not matter whose liquor cabinet it is.

At the end of my speech, I tried to evoke the ethos required to give a good speech. I tried to cry a bit, but ended up sounding like I had a frog in my throat.  In short, if it weren’t for the fact that I need to study for a test tomorrow, I would go home and hit the bottle. Or eat my weight in food.

You’d have to be on crack to do this type of assignment. And I did it sober 😦 .