Curved Enthusiasm

It has been a long two months, since I last posted.

The focus on academics has paid off: I managed to get a good GPA this semester.

Now for the damage:

Spring Semester Expenses

I managed to save money by doing the following:

1)Choosing a cheaper meal plan

2)Renting my text books through Amazon.com

3)Signing up for 13 credits instead of 14. It made some difference by not having to pay extra fees per credit.

I’ve managed to save some money (wee?), and spent some of it on purchasing a PC netbook/tablet for school:

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ASUS X205TA 11.6 Inch Laptop (Mine has Windows 10)

Apple products are EXPENSIVE and if by some weird circumstance I am forced to use an Apple computer, I can go to the computer lab on campus and use one. With this model, it is light enough to help me carry in my backpack, whether I am cycling to campus or driving to campus. I hope it will not crash once I start programing with it in the fall. Speaking of which, this is how much Summer School is going to cost:

Summer Semester Expenses

(Sob…).

I’ve submitted all of my paperwork for financial aid, so now it is a waiting game. Once it is approved it is going to be less than a semester’s worth of aid. These are the expenses for ONE CLASS, mind you. So I won’t qualify to take out a loan because I’d have to sign up for TWO CLASSES to qualify for one. And all of us students got the unpleasant news of tuition raises this year (BOO!).  The student loan restriction was definitely conjured up by insomniac maniacs who continue to fail poor students in this country. Once again, I am glad I don’t have to borrow to go to school (for now).

SELF-HELP AND NUISANCES

I finally caved in and sought therapy. I thought my depression was well under control (no crying fits or sadness), but the lingering mood of MEH did not change.

I have NO enthusiasm. I am in the constant state of MEHNESS. The best was to describe it is floating in a lake, with little to no waves to surround you. You are not sinking, but you aren’t actively swimming either. You are lethargically floating on the water, not wanting to swim to shore. This state of mind does affect people, especially Cutie.  I couldn’t come up with stuff to do during the short break I had between classes, other than much-delayed errands and house chores.

I tried to push back the idea that this state of MEHNESS is a problem but I couldn’t. Cutie is a WONDERFUL HUSBAND and he deserves the best of me instead of my worst. So I began to bravely muddle through the inadequate mental health system and hope that I won’t fall through the cracks. Or get medicated. I won’t get a definite diagnosis or treatment plan until next month. But at least I can say that I am TRYING. I am TRYING to get better/improve as a person.