The Metamorphosis


I got a call from a recruiter from a temp agency I used to work with. The interview went well until I told him I was a full-time student. In this interview, I managed to smile and stay cool. Although I wasn’t chosen for a position, I was glad I was headhunted for one. This setback did not made me feel down or shake-up my abilities as a potential employee. I was actually able to see and accept that I was not what they were looking for at the moment.  The fact that I was able to view this experience in a positive manner is one of the first dramatic changes I am experiencing in the metamorphosis.

Growing Fashion Sense

This is a weird process. Before I felt like I didn’t deserve anything nice or “feminine” until I got a job. But after I have gotten gift cards from my family, I was able to shop and enjoy buying articles of clothing for myself. My tastes are evolving, but there are certain elements I couldn’t shake off, such as the affinity for the color black and skulls:


This was the best Hot Topic could come up with: White Skull Cardigan

My first nice work flats in ages:


Michael Kors Ballet Flats in women’s size 🙂


                   Couldn’t resist this kitty purse! BG® Women Cute Cat Leatherette Crossbody Bag

But other strange habits emerge…

Not wanting to leave my bedroom before taking my medication is starting to become a habit. I wake up feeling all dumpy (in spite of having a good-night’s sleep), develop this fear of facing the day (or anyone) until I take my medication. In order for it to kick in, I have wait 30 minutes or so, then when that dumpy feeling goes away, I leave the room. This is causing me to get a later start in the day, so I am currently training myself to wake up earlier everyday before classes start.

The side effects when the medication kicks in full-swing is making me:

-more hug gable

-actually happy to be alive

-less hungry ( a plus?)

-go fully Julie Andrews on a sunny hill.


     This wasn’t listed on the list of possible side effects leaflet 😦

Facing people while in this mode is better than when I would face people while on my old self. I would treat people better and vice-versa. The reality of taking medication is sinking in: it is not as much as to treat the illness, but to allow other people around you to 1) tolerate you better and 2) not to get worse, even though some people deserve to be treated horribly due to their actions. “Not getting worse” is as vague of a definition as that blurry line between losing control and having a backbone.

Have any of you gone through a metamorphosis? If so, how long has it lasted?

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